Project Management Book

You want a hole dug in your garden.

You could employ a man with a spade to dig a hole for you. But you decide to invite IT consultants to look at the job.

Following a phone call in which you tell them you want a hole dug in your garden the sales team arrive in a screech of BMWs. They are clutching weighty reports, laptops and a laser projector.

Their slick two hour 70 slide PowerPoint presentation describes their exciting leading edge RAVO (Rapid Advanced Void Origination) methodology which, as far as you can gather, involves highly trained and specialised EMR consultants who will apply the company's advanced VOC (Void Origination and Creation) dynamic using the latest EFBERD (Extreme Flat Bladed Earth Removal Device) technology which studies have shown to be far superior to traditional methods in timeline-effectiveness.

You don't understand much of what they say but you are nevertheless very impressed, despite their mangling of the English language, and you give them the job.

On the appointed day a callow youth, fresh out of a university you've never heard of, turns up in a smart suit bearing his shiny new EFBERD still in its wrapper. He announces himself as the Earth Movage/Removal consultant (at least that's what he thinks it stands for).

He proudly tells you this is his very first job, says actually he missed the training course last week as he had a cold but not to worry as he has the mobile number of a much more experienced consultant (i.e. someone who did attend the course last week).

He unwraps his EFBERD and starts some perfunctory VOCing. But his EFBERD clearly isn't up to the job and after an hour his blisters are so bad he has to stop work but he says he will be back the next day.

Next day he rings to say he's in Belarus having left the company and got a contract as a Senior EMR Consultant. He thanks you for affording him the experience that enabled him to secure his new job.

You ring his old company and ask them to send another EMR consultant but they say they have just gained a very large client and all their staff are now committed to that for the next several months.

So you employ a man with a spade to dig a hole.

Privacy Policy and Cookies